We Are the Compassionate Revolution

023 | Ingrid Clayton: Fawning, Trauma, & the Healing Path Home to Self

Dr. Ingrid Clayton – clinical psychologist, author, and complex trauma survivor – joins Molly to explore what it really means to heal from the fawn response (a trauma pattern that teaches compassionate people to abandon themselves to stay safe). Ingrid opens up about her new book, Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back, offering insights into how the need to please can lead you away from your true self.
Together, Molly and Ingrid discuss why fawning is a nervous system adaptation, not a personality flaw, and how laughter, creativity, and embodied practices can restore a sense of self after relational trauma. They also examine spiritual bypassing, toxic positivity, and the cultural forces that keep compassionate people over-giving and disconnected from their truth.
If you’ve ever felt yourself disappearing into relationships, or you’re trying to find your way back home to yourself, this episode is for you!
 
*****
 
In this chat, Molly and Ingrid uncover:
the fawn response as a survival strategy, not pathology, and how it intertwines with attachment and early relational trauma.
why “people-pleasing” and “codependency” miss the systemic and trauma roots.
spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity as hidden self-abandonment.
nervous system healing through EMDR, IFS, and body-based awareness.
how true healing helps reclaim self, agency, and authenticity.
 
Today’s Guest:
Ingrid Clayton, PhD, is a psychologist and author who specializes in the intersection of spirituality, addiction, and trauma. Her latest book, Fawning, shines a light on an often-overlooked trauma response, fawning, and delves into what it is, why it happens, and how survivors can reclaim their voice and sense of self. Her memoir, Believing Me, chronicles her personal awakening to a traumatic past, while Recovering Spirituality explores how spiritual bypassing can hinder true healing in recovery. Learn more at: https://www.ingridclayton.com/, and connect with Ingrid on Instagram @ingridclaytonphd.
 
Thanks for listening to We Are the Compassionate Revolution! If you love the show, please help support it (at no cost) so we can reach more compassionate souls like you: Follow or subscribe wherever you listen, rate it five stars, or write a happy review. See you next week and remember: Love is the way!
 
Check out therapist and author Molly Davis Moon’s website: www.boundaried.com.
Get the Boundaries Breakthrough Mini Course for FREE (limited-time offer).
Explore the Compassionate Revolution Swag Store for t-shirts, mugs, stickers, and more!
Visit the We Are the Compassionate Revolution pod page.
Follow Molly on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

022 | Neha Bhat: Healing Sexual Shame, Reclaiming Power, & Remembering the Sacred

In this powerful conversation, Molly sits down with Neha Bhat (ABT, ATR-P), a licensed arts-based sexual trauma psychotherapist, visual artist, entrepreneurial coach, and bestselling author of Unashamed: Notes from the Diary of a Sex Therapist. Neha is also the creator of India’s first Global Sexual Trauma Healer’s Collective.
 
Together, Molly and Neha explore how sexual trauma, shame, spirituality, and culture intertwine – in the East and the West – and what true healing looks like when we reconnect to our hearts, bodies, and creative life force. They also dive into taboo topics with tenderness and truth: the generational silence around sexuality, the impact of religious and cultural conditioning, the psycho-spiritual dimensions of trauma, and the sacred work of reclaiming the body as our own.
 
This episode is both a deep dive into embodied healing and a compassionate invitation to slow down, integrate, and honor your becoming.
 
*****
 
In this episode, Molly and Neha explore:
the intersection of spirituality, intuition, and psychology in healing work.
cultural shame around sex and its lasting impact on the body and soul.
community as medicine: why deep work in groups compliments one-on-one therapy.
how cultural polarization between East and West mirrors the inner split between head and heart.
healing not as a straight line but a circle – slowing down, tending the body, and reclaiming self-trust
 
Connect with Neha:
Neha Bhat is an Indian arts-based sexual trauma-focused psychotherapist, bestselling author, and expressive arts practitioner weaving together the clinical and the mystical between India and the US.
Instagram: @indiansextherapist
Facebook: @neha.n.bhat
Website: www.nehabhat.org
Book: Unashamed: Notes from the Diary of a Sex Therapist – available wherever books are sold.
 
Thanks for listening to We Are the Compassionate Revolution! If you love the show, please help support it (at no cost) so we can reach more compassionate souls like you: Follow or subscribe wherever you listen, rate it five stars, or write a happy review. See you next week and remember: Love is the way!
 
Check out therapist and author Molly Davis Moon’s website: www.boundaried.com.
Get the Boundaries Breakthrough Mini Course for FREE (limited-time offer).
Explore the Compassionate Revolution Swag Store for t-shirts, mugs, stickers, and more!
Visit the We Are the Compassionate Revolution pod page.
Follow Molly on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

021 | Group Identity, Boundaries, & the Psychology Behind Blind Loyalty

When loyalty becomes unboundaried, we lose sight of love and begin justifying anti-relational behavior. Group identification shapes perception, loyalty, and morality – and this phenomenon is playing out on the world stage. Unboundaried over-identification with a group – political, religious, social, or otherwise – can pull us away from our values. When loyalty becomes the highest law, love gets sacrificed and great harm is often done.
 
In this thought-provoking episode, Molly explores a powerful human pattern: our instinct to pick a “team” and stay loyal to it, no matter what. This can be healthy and fun – or it can do damage.
 
But there’s hope: We can step back, remember our shared humanity, and choose love as the guiding boundary. And in modeling this for ourselves, we become a mirror that can help others break free.
 
Check out therapist and author Molly Davis Moon’s website: www.boundaried.com.
Get the Boundaries Breakthrough Mini Course for FREE (limited-time offer).
Explore the Compassionate Revolution Swag Store for t-shirts, mugs, stickers, and more!
Visit the We Are the Compassionate Revolution pod page.
Follow Molly on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.
 
*****
 
In this episode, discover:
the psychology behind why we feel loyal to “our team.”
how group identity can distort perception and morality.
why unboundaried allegiance causes humans to justify harmful behavior.
why arguing from a position of sides rarely works – and what helps instead.
 
Thanks for listening to We Are the Compassionate Revolution! If you love the show, please help support it (at no cost) so we can reach more compassionate souls like you: Follow or subscribe wherever you listen, rate it five stars, or write a happy review. See you next week and remember: Love is the way!

020 | You’re Allowed to Have Needs: A Self-Care Meditation for Compassionate People

So many compassionate people are incredible at caring for everyone else yet struggle to turn that same care inward.  
 
Today, Molly offers a 16-minute guided meditation that invites you to pause, reconnect with yourself, and remember that your needs matter, too.
 
Let this be your reminder that self-care is not selfish: It’s love in action.
 
Check out therapist and author Molly Davis Moon’s website: www.boundaried.com.
Get the Boundaries Breakthrough Mini Course for FREE (limited-time offer).
Explore the Compassionate Revolution Swag Store for t-shirts, mugs, stickers, and more!
Visit the We Are the Compassionate Revolution pod page.
Follow Molly on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.
Thank you to NaturesEye via Pixabay for the beautiful background music “Elumias.”
 
*****
 
This meditation will help you:
ground into the present moment and release the pressure to perform.
send love and attention to the parts of you that need it most.
envision a “future you” who honors their needs with ease and joy.
feel what it’s like to treat your needs as sacred.
 
Thanks for listening to We Are the Compassionate Revolution! If you love the show, please help support it (at no cost) so we can reach more compassionate souls like you: Follow or subscribe wherever you listen, rate it five stars, or write a happy review. See you next week and remember: Love is the way!

019 | Awakening, Estrangement, & the Golden Child: Conversation with Author Lauren Smallcomb

This week, Molly sits down with Lauren Smallcomb, author of the newly released book Golden Child: My Descent to Scapegoat and Rise to Freedom.
 
Tune in for today’s moving conversation, as Lauren shares her powerful and deeply personal journey with grief, wonder, and unraveling from fundamentalism to step into her authentic self. Her courageous story is one of resilience, clarity, and hope.
 
Whether you’ve navigated family estrangement, struggled to set healthy boundaries, or want to learn about the role of “the golden child” in family systems, this discussion provides valuable insights.
 
Check out therapist and author Molly Davis Moon’s website: www.boundaried.com.
Get the Boundaries Breakthrough Mini Course for FREE (limited-time offer).
Explore the Compassionate Revolution Swag Store for t-shirts, mugs, stickers, and more!
Visit the We Are the Compassionate Revolution pod page.
Follow Molly on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.
 
*****
 
In this episode, Molly and Lauren explore:
family estrangement and what it really means to choose yourself.
the roles given (golden child and scapegoat) in dysfunctional families and the impact they have on the recipient.
the heavy cost of challenging a dysfunctional family system.
how painful experiences can become portals to transformation.
 
Guest info:
Lauren Smallcomb (https://flourishtherapy.co/) is a certified Mind-Body Practitioner whose journey as a healer began at 20 when she became a registered nurse, dedicating a decade to caring for patients in the ER. She later expanded her expertise to become a birth doula and, eventually, a nutritional therapist. In 2020, after making the difficult decision to walk away from a dysfunctional family system, Lauren embarked on a transformative process of rebuilding her mind and body through brain retraining and trauma healing. This journey inspired her to become a certified Mind-Body Practitioner. Her newfound sense of empowerment prompted Lauren and her therapist husband to establish Flourish Therapy, with the intention of helping others heal and thrive after childhood trauma. Born and raised in upstate New York, they now make their home in Northern Thailand with their children, two dogs, and a cat. Follow Lauren on Instagram and Facebook @goldenchildbook and on Substack @laurensmallcomb.
 
Order your copy of Lauren's new book, Golden Child: https://flourishtherapy.kartra.com/page/goldenchild
 
Thanks for listening to We Are the Compassionate Revolution! If you love the show, please help support it (at no cost) so we can reach more compassionate souls like you: Follow or subscribe wherever you listen, rate it five stars, or write a happy review. See you next week and remember: Love is the way!

018 | Personal Growth through Adversity: Mindset Shifts that Empower

People don’t usually welcome adversity; it feels painful, lonely, and overwhelming. But what if some difficult seasons can become fertile ground for growth?
 
Molly explores how reframing hard times as a classroom can bring unexpected wisdom and healing. She also offers a song she wrote after just such a season, Song of the Seed.
 
If you’re in a difficult season right now: You’re not alone, you're not a failure, and there’s a way to move through it.
 
Check out therapist and author Molly Davis Moon’s website: www.boundaried.com.
Get the Boundaries Breakthrough Mini Course for FREE (limited-time offer).
Sign up for Molly’s beloved Boundaries Newsletter.
Visit the We Are the Compassionate Revolution pod page.
Follow Molly on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.
 
*****
 
In this episode, Molly shares:
a reframe for challenging times.
how difficulties can catalyze growth.
the unexpected transformation that can arise from seasons that feel like a dark night of the soul, a volcanic eruption, or a fallen seed forgotten in the dirt.
 
Thanks for listening to We Are the Compassionate Revolution! If you love the show, please help support it (at no cost) so we can reach more compassionate souls like you: Follow or subscribe wherever you listen, rate it five stars, or write a happy review. See you next week and remember: Love is the way!

017 | Recalibrate to Love: Choosing Hope Over Fear

Fear is real, but it doesn’t have to run you. In today’s destabilizing times, fear is marketed, and unfortunately, it’s easy to become accustomed to anxiety. But you matter. And your worth is not found in your performance, but in your being.
 
Through the wisdom of the rabbit – adaptable, resourceful, playful even on the edge of danger – Molly shares thoughts from her recent travels and explores how we can honor times of quiet burrowing, growth, and rest – without mistaking them for weakness.
 
Molly offers her original song, Sit You Rabbit Down, written in 2017 as a prayer of resilience in fearful times. And she reminds us that we can recalibrate to love, again and again, as an act of rebellion and empowerment.
 
Check out therapist and author Molly Davis Moon’s website: www.boundaried.com.
Get the Boundaries Breakthrough Mini Course for FREE (limited-time offer).
Sign up for Molly’s beloved Boundaries Newsletter.
Visit the We Are the Compassionate Revolution pod page.
Follow Molly on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.
 
*****
 
In this episode, Molly shares:
the contrast between the harmony of nature and the clamor of fear-driven news cycles.
how fear is being marketed and why we must resist it.
why love is a radical act of truth and power.
 
Thanks for listening to We Are the Compassionate Revolution! If you love the show, please help support it (at no cost) so we can reach more compassionate souls like you: Follow or subscribe wherever you listen, rate it five stars, or write a happy review. See you next week and remember: Love is the way!

016 | From Codependent to Boundaried: A Walking Meditation

This 26-minute walking meditation is a tool to move beyond codependency: Molly guides you through a gentle, grounding practice to bring you back into your body, back into the present moment, and back to yourself.
 
Whether you’re new to boundaries, deep in the process of healing from codependency, or simply looking for a calming way to reconnect with yourself, this guided practice invites you to step into your wholeness.
 
For even more help shifting out of codependency, check out Molly’s mini course (currently available for free) at https://boundaried.com/breakthrough.
 
Check out therapist and author Molly Davis Moon’s website: www.boundaried.com.
Sign up for Molly’s beloved Boundaries Newsletter.
Visit the We Are the Compassionate Revolution pod page.
Follow Molly on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.
Thank you to NaturesEye via Pixabay for the beautiful background music “Shamanic Meditations.”
 
*****
 
This meditation will help you:
release the pull of codependency and return focus to yourself.
practice boundaries by listening to your body’s needs with kindness.
cultivate gratitude for your body, your surroundings, and this moment.
step into a deeper sense of freedom, presence, and self-love.
 
Thanks for listening to We Are the Compassionate Revolution! If you love the show, please help support it (at no cost) so we can reach more compassionate souls like you: Follow or subscribe wherever you listen, rate it five stars, or write a happy review. See you next week and remember: Love is the way!

015 | Codependency is Not Your Fault (Part Two)

In this continuation of last week’s conversation, Molly unpacks how an extreme, individualistic culture – summed up by the myth of “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” – creates the perfect conditions for people-pleasing and codependency. She traces how compassionate, group-attuned folks internalize shame around needs, over-function to keep the peace, and burn out trying to do the impossible.
 
Molly also offers a powerful reframe: True strength is interdependence, and boundaries rooted in love are the doorway back to our power, personally and collectively.
 
Check out therapist and author Molly Davis Moon’s website: www.boundaried.com.
Get the Boundaries Breakthrough Mini Course for FREE (limited-time offer).
Sign up for Molly’s beloved Boundaries Newsletter.
Visit the We Are the Compassionate Revolution pod page.
Follow Molly on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.
 
*****
 
In this episode, Molly explores:
the history of the original “bootstraps” phrase, and why it was meant to be sarcastic.
four ways bootstraps-thinking shows up as codependency symptoms.
why sensitivity isn’t a problem – it’s part of the medicine.
how boundaries don’t harden your heart; they free it to love wisely.
the truth that you are not the problem: You’re experiencing a symptom of a problem that is changeable.
 
Thanks for listening to We Are the Compassionate Revolution! If you love the show, please help support it (at no cost) so we can reach more compassionate souls like you: Follow or subscribe wherever you listen, rate it five stars, or write a happy review. See you next week and remember: Love is the way!

014 | Codependency is Not Your Fault

Have you ever been told that your struggles with codependency or people-pleasing are all about you? That if you were stronger, or clearer, or more disciplined, you wouldn’t be stuck in these patterns?
 
In this episode, Molly explores why that isn’t true. Codependency isn’t a personal flaw – it’s a set of traits that compassionate, empathic, loyal people often develop when they grow up in a culture that glorifies hyper-independence and devalues care.
 
In other words: It’s not your fault. Most importantly, you’ll hear why none of this means you’re broken.
 
Check out therapist and author Molly Davis Moon’s website: www.boundaried.com.
Get the Boundaries Breakthrough Mini Course for FREE (limited-time offer).
Sign up for Molly’s beloved Boundaries Newsletter.
Visit the We Are the Compassionate Revolution pod page.
Follow Molly on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.
 
*****
 
In this episode, Molly shares:
three positive traits that make compassionate folks especially vulnerable to developing codependent patterns.
how dominant culture, hyper-individualism, colonialism, and patriarchy shaped the conditions for codependent traits to thrive.
the hidden cost of stuffing your feelings and ignoring your own needs in order to care for others.
how including yourself in your circle of compassion is the beginning of healing.
 
Thanks for listening to We Are the Compassionate Revolution! If you love the show, please help support it (at no cost) so we can reach more compassionate souls like you: Follow or subscribe wherever you listen, rate it five stars, or write a happy review. See you next week and remember: Love is the way!